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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:31 pm 
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Reeve
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Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:40 pm
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Location: denver, colorado
I was reading one of the other posts. One about whaling and I almost posted a reply about, ' Wanting to wail.' on fellow players.
instead I grew one or Two brain cells and realized that it may be funny, (even to some of you) well I just shouldn't intrude that way on an honest question.

So I will share with you a nice little memory of gamer stupidity.

back in the 'good' old days at Naval Base Norfolk Virginia we used to go down to the enlisted rec center and play RPGs on Saturdays and Sundays , those of us not on duty anyway. One Saturday one of our loosely organized and ever changing mob needed to get some DMing certification for some RPG group he wanted to join, so he had to run a game for twenty plus people.

Well cut to the chase. less than half an hour into the game some lame brain mage cuts lose with a 30 foot by 30 foot fireball in a 20 foot by 20 foot room. (now that I think about it no explanation was given as to how twenty PCs and the goblins that appeared out of nowhere, could occupied that space. That's not important, what is important is that...)
Right after that ANOTHER lamer brained mage did the same thing!

Please, Please share your tales of stupidity at the game table.

And no I wasn't playing ether of the mage's.
And yes it was AD&D

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"Then why do they shoot at me when I'm dropping bombs on them?"


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:23 pm 
I was running a game of Milleniums End for two friends of mine who broke into the downtown house of a woman that they suspected of running a white slave ring. They were both armed for a clandestine op with one problem that become obvious later. They broke in, bound her and tossed her on the couch, then started to interrogate her. They quickly become frustrated when she refused to answer their questions and didn't appear to be intimidated by them. ( They weren't being very effective. )
Finally one of the players said "Right, I shoot the couch just next to her head."
"Fair enough." I replied.
The other player just looked at him and said "You idiot! I've got the silencer, not you."
A rapid exfiltration followed as the lights in neighbouring houses came on, followed by the sounds of sirens.
I hadn't laughed so hard for ages, partly because I'd forgotten that they both didn't have silencers until it was mentioned.

Scott


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:45 pm 
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Bailiff
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Location: Western New York
A player character had (in another non-harn game world) managed to get himself enslaved for starting a fire in a city (medieval fantasy campaign). He escaped from slavery, only to discover that another player character had done some "dirty and nasty" deed in order to have the slave's owner sign over the papers of ownership to her. In any event, she had to leave the group for a short time, and that was that - the other players continued in the campaign. To make a long story short, the escaped slave managed to do good such that the character got married, had children, and even was granted land for services rendered to a grateful noble. Then the unthinkable happened. The girl returned to the gaming group. After the long absense, she reminded the one player (and the player character via in game interaction), that she still had the slave ownership papers! Thinking that he'd gotten away from the slavery thing because I'd never pressed it all that much (after all, only the slave owner can file a complaint about a run away slave!) as GM, he was literally in shock when she jerked his chain about owning his slave papers. By law, children of slaves are themselves slaves. By law, slaves may not own property - which meant that she could confiscate all of his holdings for her own. The player saw everything he'd worked for begin to crumble about him, and grew unhappy enough that he had his character commit suicide by falling on his sword.

Unfortunately? Committing suicide is a major sin in the campaign world, subjecting the sinner to the depths of hell. Well, the girl felt so bad about the suicide, that she arranged to try and open a gate to hell and rescue the poor soul so that the resurrection spell could work. Being tired that night as a GM, I devised what I THOUGHT was a simple yet elegant solution. Rather than run a game run where the player characters were in Hell (via the gate mind you!), I just had the party met by a rather tired and overworked demon saying "Look, here's the deal. I shall submit to you, but one question. If ANY one of you gets it right, then you all can take your friend's soul out of here. If none of you get it right, then you all admit your souls belong here. Deal?"

As GM, I reasoned thus: Give them a question that can only be answered with a YES or NO. With three people answering the question - a smart individual would realize that if one answered YES, and one answered NO, between them, they would have ONE correct answer. A win win situation for everyone.

The question?

"Do you wish your friend were where he belongs?"

It was a trick question, because the soul of the damned was already where it belonged! First player without thinking yelled excitedly... "YES!", sure that he had the right answer. Then a look of horror crept over his face and he groaned almost inaudibly... "No!". Looking to the girl in the group (by girl, she was about 20 at the time), She too very confidently said "YES!". Upon hearing the other guy groan after saying yes, she too realized the error of her ways and also groaned. The third and final player - the one who was using a "loaner" character on the off chance the party could get his "suicided" character out of hell, confidently said "Yes" - this despite the fact that the other two had answered "yes" and then groaned afterwards. Time between when the first person answered to when the second person answered? At most, two seconds. Time between when second person answered and third person answered? About 30 seconds.

Afterwards? After a major battle to reach the gate and escape hell, the two players looked at me and called me a bastard for setting it up that way. When I explained to them that all they had to do was have one player say "Yes" and one player say "No" and all of this would have been avoided, they just looked even more unhappy. Whether with me or themselves, I can't say. I must admit, they almost DIDN'T get their characters to the Gate before it closed, and had they taken more magic items and stuff with them, I would have been able to make their characters pay far more dear a price than they did. But then again? They could have avoided it all simply by thinking "Hmmm, only one of us has to get the answer correct, and the question can only be answered with a yes or no - simple, one answers yes, one answers no."

Ah well.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 6:07 pm 
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Knight
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A player of mine played a mage, he (and his group) discovered a trap, a fire-trap. They discovered that the trap would set of fire trap best desribed as a "sea of fire" version (this game wasn't Hârn, but an effect of similar magnitute). He told his group to wait outside the room while he magically should set of the trap (they had no disarm knowledge within the group), but he was very curious about the effect so he created a wall of stone in the doorway with two holes so he could see what happened in the room while he with some telekinesis talents set off teh trap.

The mage had two burned out eyes (and thank ... that they had healing for this sort of things).

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:36 am 
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Knight
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Location: Viriginia, DC in the USA
I was in a party of PCs playing AD&D1e. After attacking, and neutralizing, a vampire by putting a stake through the heart, another PC was going to take the stake out so we could use further into the dungeon to hold open doors.... :?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:18 am 
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Sheriff
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Was playing Dragonquest about 20 years ago. Had a player that had a PC that was most skilled with a pike. They decided to go into a city, and had a thief who wanted to add some things to the groups treasury. The Pike PC went with him, I asked what weapon are you going to bring. He said my pike of course.

As they broke into a place and were running from the city guard, the guard seem to be able to track them pretty easily because of the pike ("What's these brigands look like, M'dam?" - "well, it was dark, but I do recall one of them carrying a very long spear" :roll: ) I also asked the player how the PC was carrying the pike in confined city streets - he said sthraight in the air :wink: . There was some comedy as I told them that anytime the hid or ran through an area where there was not at least 15' high houses that the guards could make a perception check to see if they realized a stick over a house running down a street, as the pike was per the game about 20' long.

Even when it became beknownst to them that the pike was probably giving them away - the PC refused to drop it and run, but elected to carry it wherever he went.

Eventually they were caught up with by the guard. The PC said "Let us go, or I will break this magic pike and it will explode and destroy the city" (it was not enchanted even). Thought the guard would try his bluff, so the guard took it broke it in two, and of course nothing happened (except some snickering :D ).

The Player thought I was being highly unfair to him. Luckily for him I had not even come up with my HM rules for Pikes lowering running speeds in cramped places :D

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Hmm Gurthang. What a nice name for a sword....


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:00 am 
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Reeve
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Location: denver, colorado
Thats the funnest one yet!!
Turin wrote:

Even when it became beknownst to them that the pike was probably giving them away - the PC refused to drop it and run, but elected to carry it wherever he went.

Eventually they were caught up with by the guard. The PC said "Let us go, or I will break this magic pike and it will explode and destroy the city" (it was not enchanted even). Thought the guard would try his bluff, so the guard took it broke it in two, and of course nothing happened (except some snickering :D ).



How much does a Pike cost?

Good thing he wasn't in a dungeon. "Ok you have a 20foot pike the coridor is 8 foot wide 8 foot tall and turns left after 15 feet."

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"No one is trying to kill you Yossarian!"
"Then why do they shoot at me when I'm dropping bombs on them?"


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:35 am 
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Half Villein
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Location: A Mausoleum in Perry, GA, USA
I ran a AD&D game about 9 years ago in which one PC, a strong swimmer, decided to swim across a flooded room in order to help another PC in trouble with zombies. Another player decided that since the first PC was such a strong swimmer, his PC would latch on the legs of the swimmer and be carried along..... What a moron.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:47 pm 
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Knight
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Location: Colorado
The party was playing role master (late 80s) and had several newbie players. While exploring / fighting thier wasy though a cave system around a dragon's den to rescue a princess one of the newbies (carrying a battle sword/2 handed sword) saw movement off in one of the side passages and swung. He rolled open ended and cleaved said maiden in two.

He was then known as "Maiden Slayer".

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:56 am 
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Cottar
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In my nearly 30 years of gaming, most of the stupidity I have witnessed has involved fire.

I have experienced (as player and DM) the "fireball in confined spaces" incident several times. Usually it occurs because the player is either very inexperienced or has never played a wizard-type character before (pre-gens or playing an absent player's character). One time a mage entered a 20x20' room in a ruined keep, was trapped therein alone by some gnolls, and tossed a fireball at them as they charged. Fortunately for him he made his save and was near the window (the fireball blew him out the window into the moat, extinguishing the flames).

Another time (in a Harnish game with a homebrew ruleset) our group was in a tunnel preparing to engage a group of Gargun. The warriors had formed a skirmish line and were set for charge. I was hiding in a niche in front of them, invisible due to an elven-cloak type of item, waiting for the underlings to pass by so I could engage the leader or spellcasters. Then the wizard decided to throw a fireball into the mix, not realizing that it would engulf all of us. The worst part being that it evaporated my fine, gossamer-ish cloak, leaving me stuck in front of our line amongst all of the Gargun, addle-headed from the blast...

My crowning moment of stupidity was in the same game, but a different adventure. We had found a secreted cache of treasure chests in some wizard's manorhouse. The thief-type character was absent that night, and we had a standing rule that your character couldn't be put in life-or-death situations if you weren't there, so one of the warriors (a rather small Celtish one, as the bolthole was too narrow for anyone else) decided to open the chests instead. Using a key we had found elsewhere that we were pretty certain would open the locks, he attempted to unlock a chest. BOOM!...some sort of firetrap explodes in his face. We used the last of our healing and send him back in again. BOOM!...the warrior is blasted again, but luckily makes his save and only takes a little damage. "Turn the key again...we know it's the right one!" BOOM!...the warrior is blasted again. Now we have a nearly dead warrior...but its late and we really don't want to have to wait until next week when the thief-player returns. "Turn the key again...the trap has to run out of charges sometime!" I say. BOOM! Fried, hairless, ought-to-be-dead warrior falls over in front of the chest unconscious (and we can't get him out). We end up waiting until next week anyhow when the thief-player returns. She (oh, the ignomy...bested by a woman) calmly appraises the situation, hears our explanation, drags the warrior out, returns to the bolthole and turns the key COUNTERCLOCKWISE. The chest opens.... :o


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:10 pm 
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Cottar
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Location: Tortona - North Italy
dm ( me ) : you enter in a dark room under the warehouse of the castle . The room before this one was full of lanterns and torches ; here you can see nothing , but you recognise a very strong smell of lantern oil and the floor is very slippery ....
pc 1 : if we don't see anything , we need light , I'm going to cast a light spell !
pc 2 : no , you fool , save your magics , you forget I have my burning torch .....

whuafff : this is the onomatopeic word for a burning alive pc ....

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:30 pm 
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Bailiff
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Location: Tampere, Finland
In a D&D game we found out there would be an attempt on a nobleman's life on the present day. My PC quickly went to warn him, as he was able to get there stealthily. The nobleman thanked my character and asked him to join him at his dinner table. So, the PC was glad to have some nice dinner, laced with poison. The nobleman made his save, I didn't. The would-be resquer died from the poison. Perhaps that could be considered a hero's death? No? I didn't think so either.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:30 am 
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Knight
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Location: Lost in the vastness of empty space...between my ears
Harn, near Golotha, party of Rethemi nobles (all family)
A serf comes running to the party "there are three giant wolves coming out of the forest!"
a few serfs in the fields start running towards the manor.

My PC with a 18 move grabs his spear and runs out to meet the serfs.
"They're just wolves. Come on we can take them."
The other half dozen look at each other and start getting the horses ready to intercept the wolves.
I run past the serfs and I am told they look really big. Right, I keep at them, knowing my family is behind me.

Three 1200 pound wolves possessed by Morgath tear me to shreds as my family looks on. Seems I forgot it was Rethem and I was in line to get the manor, WAS. Ah, the Rethem clan campaign, I lost 3 PC's all to fellow players. All the PC deaths in the game were from fellow players.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:36 am 
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Grand Master Silly Bugger
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Location: Bicester, Oxfordshire, England.
Dear all,

No specific instance...just repeated cases of heading in the direction that the clues indicate in Cthulu :twisted: :twisted:

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:49 am 
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AD and D Temple of Elemental Evil Campaign :twisted: ...

Half our party was captured. Tied up and bound. Their screams echoed thru the Earth Temple as they were ritually sacrificed. During the after action report, recriminations flew about the gaming table. :argue: One of the players(one of the four that was captured) stood up and yelled at the DM for being put in an unwinnable scenario. The player said that the cleric couldnt use his spells because they were all bound and gagged, so they had no way out.

Shawn, the DM said, "Yes but your character was a psionicist..." 8O

I knew I had to find a new game system...

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:52 am 
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Yeoman
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Oh and I almost forgot...Another foray into the Temple, a certain Sir Bertrand drank a potion labelled "HEALING"...and promptly dropped dead from the poison in the vial.

The DM shrugged his shoulder's and said,"Its the Temple of ELEMENTAL EVIL...."

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"Pride and defiant hate, spite and harsh oblivion. Let the great jeweled knot of the Cosmos unravel in the dust."-The Pentadict of Lorgar


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:55 am 
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Bailiff
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In the same, above mentioned D&D campaign, my monk/assassin PC wanted to get some black lotus flowers for a deadly poison. He brought the other PCs along to help get it from a pool in a place the locals considered taboo. Not sure, but they may have spoken of a demon of the pool too. My PC waded into the pool to gather the plants, as the others stood by the pool. We (the players) all were half sure a monster would appear, although there rarely were monsters in that campaign, so we mostly just joked about it. But of course the monster came. The huge thing rose up from the pool, clutching my helpless PC in a paw and quickly paralyzed him with a poison from some kind of tentacles. The other PCs attacked the monster, two of them soon chopped in half. My PC died from the poison. I think one of the remaining PCs still charged the thing at that point, only one or two had enough sense to run.

*

Similarly, at an earlier point my PC (another one) was captured with some other PC and NPCs. They were taken into a military camp. The other PCs (a level 1 wizard and a level 1 rogue among them, none real fighters) and their low level men-at-arms found the camp and saw the gates were open. I encouraged (knowing well it was stupid) the others to ride in and attack. Soon they too were captured in the (fairly obvious) trap. :)

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:25 pm 
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Bailiff
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Log time ago, in a scifi / cyberpunk game, a PC who was a cop was going into a house to arrest (I assume) a druglord. I (the GM) told the player that there's a guy sitting in the steps leading to the building, with a plastic bag in his hands. The cop went to this guy, roughed him up a bit, and then walked straight into the house and started shooting at the people (!) inside. The guy he'd left at the door used the SMG in his plastic bad and shot the moronic, bloodythirsty cop in the back. And it was justified self defense. :)

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