Marriage and Divorce in the eyes of the Laranian Church.
By Aaron Kavli
 

        Marriage is a ritual firmly implanted in the Laranian doctrines.  Various marriage and bonding rituals have existed in various forms from the time two people shared a fire.
        The church realized this important social function needed to be incorporated into doctrine.  Partly to ensure the marriages would keep the souls of the laity pure, partly to help keep the church's influence strong by having say in political marriages.  So in 290 TR, the first officially sanctioned Laranian ceremony was written by the church and was soon made ingrained in church law in all Laranian lands.
        The first ceremony was simple.  The two to be married declared their love and the presiding priest declared them to be married.  As the church grew in influence and prosperity however, it was decided that such a holy sacrament needed a far more formal ceremony.
        In 350 TR, the modern ceremony was adopted with it's formalities and extravagance.  The ceremonies foundation is accredited to Melekan Tourk of Balagne, a well traveled priest from Azeryan.  With his vast missionary experience it was felt by his superiors that Tourk would be inspired by Larani (and had seen ceremonies far and wide to take the best elements).

        Every ceremony will be flavored by local tradition and ethnic custom.  But there are certain aspects that are needed in order for the marriage to be officially sanctioned by the church.  In many kingdoms, a marriage must be church sanctioned to be recognized by the state.
        Initial proposals are what vary the most depending on the society.  Some involve a simple proposal, while others may involve a large ceremony where the man (or woman...) asks both the parents and loved one in front of the assembled peerage.  From kingdom to kingdom it runs the gambit of possibility.
        Laranian beliefs consider family values and morality of utmost importance, and this is doubly so in holy matrimony.  As such family involvement of the couple is required.  Each betrothed separately escorts the others parents (or guardians) to the local chapel or shrine to meet with the senior priest or priest performing the ceremony to officially declare intent.  Both sets of parents must give their permission to the priest before the process can continue.  Usually this is discussed by the family long before this, so very seldom will parents at this stage protest.  There are cases however where parents or guardians will utterly refuse to allow the marriage.  In such cases, it is possible to present a case to the church to allow the wedding without permission.  But unless a case of an unfair, punitive family feuding (between families or offspring and parent) can be made or the marriage will be greatly beneficial to church interests, the church will usually find with the family.  Then the only option is elopement, covered later.  As with many things, money, power, and politics can become very important in receiving (or denying) permission to marry.
        Another meeting is then held with all parties, including the lord of each betrothed.  Here the betrothed will officially accept each other's proposal.  Each family will also officially bless the wedding, as will the lord (or lords).  This meeting is ostensibly held for the priest to discuss obligations and the seriousness of marriage to church and man.  Most of the meeting time however is spent finalizing dowry negotiations.  The date for the ceremony is then set, usually to coincide with the next Soratir (low mass) if possible (or as sooner in the case of a traveling priest).  The church usually charges roughly 5% of one's income to perform the ceremony, this can be a hefty fee depending on one's standing.
        Many areas have no resident priest, relying on monthly visits from clergy from nearby areas.  In these cases the families and betrothed will hold most negotiations and discussions before the priest arrives, the meetings often presided by the local lord.  The meetings will still be held upon the priest's arrival, but they will be short.  Often the first two meetings are foregone, with all business being done in one large meeting.  Within Laranian fighting orders, it is not uncommon for the Chabla of the order to perform the ceremony for those in his order.  Especially if the Chabla is also a priest.
        It should be noted also that it is not unheard of for a Peonian priest to perform the ceremony, in the name of Larani.  The two churches are very intertwined, and many Peonian priests are familiar with the Laranian ceremony.  While they find the pomp and circumstance a bit amusing, it does focus on the aspect of love and most are willing to perform it if asked.  Much of the advice a Peonian discusses in their council is vastly different from that of their Laranian contemporaries.  Political and financial discussion will be chided (and not understood) by a Peonian and in such cases will be settled in the presence of a lord or just between the families.  Such weddings are always recognized by the Laranian church when informed of the ceremony.

        Once the date is set, preparations are made for the ceremony.  The night before the ceremony many places will hold a celebration.  These celebrations are very culture dependent, but a common one is called 'Garden Night', an agrarian reference to "planting" a family.  By the unmarried men often instead refer to it as 'Chaining Night'.  Often the men and women of the village will eat feast in two separate groups.  In many areas (especially where common folk are involved) this night is used as an excuse for uncontrolled flirting and controlled debauchery.  The betrothed may or may not partake.  While the church frowns on such behavior, they often find it easier to slowly erase such local customs or incorporate (therefore controlling) them into Laranian tradition.
        The ceremony is supposed to start at the crack of dawn, though weather and other marriage delays are common.  A selection of laity will sing hymns led by the priest while the guests assemble (standing or sitting depending on status).  Then the priest will light incense and call for the bride and groom to "present them selves before the eyes of Larani".  All immediate relations and four witnesses (two chosen by each betrothed) will gather about the priest.
        The lord or his appointed representative shall escort the bride and groom to the altar.  The lord walks behind the two, pressing gently on their backs (to prevent any fleeing) and stands behind them as they face the priest.  If the lord and lady are both present, they will escort the couple (male female, female male) with clasped elbows and stand behind them.
        The bride and groom will then kneel before the priest and clasp hands.  Each will then present a Kasha rod to the priest.  The Kasha rod is a short rod decorated as the family means can provide from a simple wood carved stick to a silver and gold inlaid scepter.  Then the priest shall recite the wedding benediction.
        While the benediction will vary widely from priest to priest (many cannot read well and must memorize it), the most common will be as follows:

        "Before the eyes of Larani do we come together this morn.  Unto Larani do (name) and (name) pledge both their love and fealty to each other.  From the beginning of time man and woman have knelt before the might and righteousness of Larani to declare such feelings of love and commitment.
        With such a joyous passing comes a couple's right to bear children and live in intimacy with no sin before the eyes of the White Lady Righteous Love. The comfort of companionship, the shedding of loneliness, the warmth of true love.  All of these are the treasures of the brave and true who would make such commitment.  (Name) and (name) do vow to one another to provide each other such
joys, with perfect love and perfect honor.
        But with such privilege shall come a heavy responsibility.  For while in the warm sun such concerns seem light, in darkness and doubt they can test the mettle of the most noble souls.
        Sickness doth rob many of health, famine doth rob one's table and purse.  Temptation doth rob a family of its wholesome base.  True love will prevail through such trying days.  In sickness, love must care for the infirm.  In poverty, love must still support its charges.  In temptation must love find steadfastness and forgiveness.  Thus is the responsibility (name) and (name) vow to support each other, with perfect love and perfect honor."

        Individual vows are seldom exchanged.  This takes pressure from the couple to misspeak, and allows the church to rigidly determine the rights and responsibilities of a married couple.

        The priest shall hand the Kashi back to the couple.  Each will touch the tip of their Kasha to the heart, chin, and forehead of the other in turn.  While some will insist this custom and the use of the Kasha represents Larani's scepter or sword, it is actually taken from a tribal ritual from the planes of Gothmir.  The rod was a phallic symbol, used to symbolize oral sex, believed by the tribe to increase fertility.  Few know this however, Tourk wisely did not reveal the source of the ritual.  But he thought if given a more somber delivery, it would fit well into Laranian ceremony. The priest will then continue.

        "Do you, (name) pledge your love and devotion to (name) under the eyes of Larani until you do pass from this world to the lofty halls of Dolithor?"

        The priest will ask each in turn, who will simply answer "Aye, with my heart and soul."

        "With the blessings of our holy mother Larani and the authority granted by the holy office of her church on Kethira, I duly validate the holy union of (name) and (name)."
        The couple will then kiss each other on the cheeks and forehead.  In common weddings, it is often followed by a joyful kiss to the mouth.  In more royal circles, very delicate kisses with a somber visage is considered more proper.
 

        There are legal aspects that marriage has significant social effects on.  While these vary greatly from region to region in specifics.  But there are three that are universally important.  Each local chapel keeps a ledger of those who have married, when, where, and who performed the ceremony.  These are called 'tome familia' and are very prized and well kept documents.  They need to be since they are at times called upon to clarify and validate claims of legitimacy.  Sometimes these books are copied or sent to higher churches to be
archived, but except in the cases of high royalty few bother to do so.
        A spouse can legally expect proper support from the other.  In most male dominated societies, this is mainly means the woman can expect proper day to day support in terms of shelter and food for her and her children.  The man can legally expect obedience, domestic servitude, and the chance to produce heirs.  Often however the female is the ranking noble of the house, and the roles may be reversed
or redefined.
        A proper marriage and offspring remove doubts (in theory) to conflicts of inheritance.  Resolving these problems before they become problems is beneficial for the family, the kingdom, and the church.  A child born in wedlock from a legally married couple also has reasonable expectation of legal rights to inheritance as set forth by custom.  The uncertainly of inheritance is what makes adultery both a serious canon and secular offense.
        The final legal obligation, the most important to the church (in theory), is both are legally bound to support the spiritual needs of their spouse and offspring.  Technically this is meant to involve mutual teaching and growth.  Most clergy are happy if it ensures they attend mass on a regular basis.  The more devoted take this very seriously, verily dragging their spouse to mass.
        As with many aspects of Laranism, the institution of marriage maintains order, responsibility, and obligation.  Larani is most often the religion of the nobility.  In such circles arranged marriages are common.  In such loveless relationships, marriage is just a formal, feudal arrangement that simply clarifies (in theory) issues of succession and inheritance.
 
 

        Eloping is simply the act of getting married without the knowledge, permission or interference of family and kin.  This usually involves traveling or finding someone to do it locally besides the local Laranian priest.  Most often those who elope have already been denied by their own kin, or are afraid they will be.
        Laranian priests are forbidden to perform weddings without proper observance to church custom.  And if they do, they can expect heavy penance, fines, and even loss of station.  Doing this goes against the order of things, and is considered a serious breach of trust by the church hierarchy, not to mention the nobility.
        Peonians are more willing, especially since those who would go against the family tends to be truly in love (or believe they are).  Peonians care little of political maneuvering, especially where it concerns marriage as it defiles a holy institution that should be based on love and family.  As such the consideration that the marriage may be politically unpopular is rarely a consideration.  A simple vow of love made with some sincerity is all that is required for most Peonian priests to perform the ceremony.
        This is one area that causes a bit of friction between the Peonians and the Laranians.  In some areas eloping is a serious crime, and in others political suicide.  By church custom the Laranian church recognizes marriages performed by a Peonian in the name of Larani.  The roots of this custom are lost, but the common belief is during a period of long warfare in Lythia Laranian priests were sometimes in short demand as many would be called to fight.  Others feel it was a Peonian political move to interfere with Laranian domination.
        As such, a Peonian performing the wedding can bring the Laranians in direct conflict with sometimes very powerful nobility.  A movement has been brewing in the Laranian Tirnatha to end this custom due to some situations of this nature in Azeryan lately.  Sebrath Allyn has been somewhat lukewarm to this idea, feeling it may alienate the commoners (mostly Peonian) over an issue that happens only rarely.
        Alternately many areas legally recognize common law marriage.  Most of these result from a common agreement between the two, or the two living together for a time.  In some kingdoms, a common law marriage can be forced by the woman's father it the two are caught engaged in sex or if a pregnancy results.  In these cases, after such fines are assessed for sex out of wedlock, a similar ceremony is performed by the Laranian priest.  The bride's father can petition to force the father/lover to married by the local lord and/or priest.
These are most common in Shorkyne, and the term "Shorkyne Wedding" is a widespread term for a forced wedding. These Shorkyne Weddings are just as valid under the eyes of the church.  The escorting lord usually brings along some extra muscle for the prospective
groom.  The term ‘tying the knot’, also derives from the groom being bound with rope if he resists too much.  Often times these common law marriages are a way to get around family opposition.  Once a common law marriage is recognizable by secular custom (running off and living together for a year and a day, or pregnancy), the church will sanction a wedding without needing family permission.  Counseling with family will still take place.  Any applicable (if any) lord of the couple must still give permission however.
        While the Laranian church frowns on premarital sex, it takes no strict stance on the matter, usually.  The Laranian ideal of sex is that of courtly love, love expressed without the need of sex.  But it is expected the laity will fall short of the perfect ideals.  Many secular laws fine sex out of wedlock, but there is no dogma stating this act will damn one's soul.  An expectation of eventual marriage is however
expressed as the proper course of action.  Certainly such behavior is not acceptable for those who wish to live the life of the paladin.  Overall, the clergy is often pragmatic on this matter regarding the laity.  For the clergy it is far more strict.  While priests are not required to be celibate, premarital sex for a priest is deemed wrong and punitive action can be expected (depending on the morals of one's superiors...).
 
 

        Sadly, despite divine grace and proper upbringing, occasionally a marriage will end in failure (and indeed some are doomed from the start).  Unfortunately the Laranian church does not allow divorce except in a very few circumstances.  To the church this is a breaking of holy, feudal vow and leads to possible conflict with the churches assertion of ecclesiastical infallibility.  The church avoids such situations when possible.
        If adultery can be proven without doubt, then the offended spouse may sue for divorce before a clerical council.  If the adultery is proven and the divorce is granted, the offending party may be assessed fines and a stipend to be paid to the spouse.  If such happens, the offender will be prevented from remarrying and may be excommunicated.  If the female can be proven to have born the children of an adulterous affair, both she and the child can be excommunicated if the father so wishes.  In practice this is seldom done as in such cases both parties in such marriages are often guilty.  This policy is often lax depending on the culture.  In some areas concubines are a husbands right.  While certainly not encouraged by the clergy, little effort is expended to guide the private life of secular lords.  More than one wife has been discarded on trumped up adultery charges to allow a lord to legally remarry.  An adulterous priest may expect excommunication or assignment to a remote abbey.
        Another reason that divorce may be granted by the church is that of treason.  If it can be proven that a spouse has been betrayed on a secular level, this is viewed by the church as the breaking of one's oath.  This is usually only applies to powerful royalty, but a person may be arrested for treason by a lord without the spouse's involvement.  This policy was initially enacted for those whose spouse was convicted of treason but not executed.  It affords a person the chance to produce heirs and have a spouse instead of forcing one to remain in a marriage to someone locked in a gaol until they die.  The church however does recognize that not all treason is necessarily evil, or even against the will of Larani.  The church also recognizes that two fighting factions can be 'right', but the winner usually has little use for defeated enemies right or wrong.  As such, very seldom will a person be excommunicated for secular convictions.  They will not however be allowed to remarry.
        Another reason the church may allow a divorce is occasionally pure politics or coin.  Any one can petition for a church approved divorce, those with great influence and money are the most successful.  This is mostly used by those who have taken a barren spouse and lack heirs.
        Those who are released from a previous marriage by the church (i.e., death or the offended party in a divorce) are free to remarry.  Those whose spouse dies is usually expected to mourn for a year and a day before remarrying, though this is seldom the case.
        Occasionally a petition to take a second wife is made.  Sometimes this is a matter of local custom, and other times it is asked when the couple cannot produce an heir.  These cases are often the cause of great debate in the clergy.  It clearly impacts the vows already made to the first spouse, taking another spouse strains the love, attention, and financial support promised.  However the vow of producing heirs is also being broken, regardless of the fact the first spouse can do little to prevent it (assuming of course it is the spouse’s fault and not the petitioners!).  More often than not, these requests are denied without a substantial donation.  On the rare occasion this is
granted, the first spouse is given the opportunity to remain married and share a spouse.  The first spouse cannot be legally forced from the marriage (in the church’s eyes at any rate), secular laws may allow it.
        Homosexuality is an acknowledged fact on Kethira, and in many lands it is even common and accepted. The Church of Larani however does not accept it as a wholesome occurrence, ignoring it at least and outright condemning it as a gateway to witchcraft and Morgath at worst.  Local Laranian clergy try to persuade their laity from such activities (if they themselves are not such a way that is...).  While personal clergy opinion may vary, the official church stance is that any who copulate with members of the same sex are to be shunned as sinners.  Homosexuality goes against the natural order of things, and in some of the more fanatical states, can lead to charges of witchcraft and burning.  Despite the varied enforcement of this, Laranian vows include the responsibility to provide heirs, which is obviously impossible homosexually.

        Despite the various ceremony, obligations, politics, and outcomes thereof, marriage in the Laranian church is an act of love and honor.  A married couple can expect help and support from the church in times of need, along with fair council in matters of dispute.
        A married couple holds favor with the church, and great pains are often spent by the church to help marriages work.  The marriages of greater royalty however, while still as valid in the eyes of the church, are known to mostly be political in nature.  As such, the church will refrain from undue involvement in these arrangements on the spiritual level.  The Laranian church is however a powerful political force, and can certainly approve or disapprove marriages for it's own ends.